If you sign up for the free version your mailbox quickly gets messages from people who cannot have contact with unless you pay.
If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events.
If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play.
Myself included I was sent a email saying I had too many Emails friends and favorite requests.
Adult Friend Finder (AFF) owns and both are full of fake profiles.
It is worth being on there, though, and it is free. You will find out about local events and regional/national events.
If you post in the forums on fetlife it gives you the chance to engage intellectually with people, which can lead to meetings.
it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting. Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. Mistymouse ( my nym on either site) I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife.
be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you.
Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.