Amish men typically use this same approach of writing it out in a letter or using a friend to get a feel if the girl is actually interested, explained the local Amish man."Very rarely has a young Amish woman asked for a date of a young Amish man," said Miller.
However, if at any point the couple feels they have not made the right choice or it is not "the Lord's leading," the couple is encouraged to break it off.
Remember in grade school, when you decided you liked someone but you were too shy to approach the boy or girl in fear of rejection or embarrassment?
During this time the couple will typically sit together sharing Bible readings and prayer and simply talking.
The young Amish man will then leave for his home late in the evening typically around 11 p.m. It is highly encouraged that young Amish couples avoid public displays of affection and practice a "hands-off" approach in their relationships.
The young man would visit the girl's house late in the evening and try to keep their relationship a secret, but the truth would eventually come out.
"Now, anymore, the younger generations are much more open about it."After spending a Sunday afternoon together, either alone or in the company of the girl's family, an official date takes place in the evening hours often after returning from youth hymns, explained Miller.
"We don't encourage past-time dating" (or dating just for fun,) said the local Amish man.
When Amish youth decide to date, they are planning for their future and are intending to pick a mate to plan their life around.
So you wrote your feelings in a note and secretly slipped it on their desk or you used your best buddy as a go between.