); actually putting yourself out there at events and activities where you're likely to meet people; tapping into your network of friends for set-ups; and so on."It's about taking action, in more ways than one," she says.
You could even have some sort of "list" for what you want in a guy.
But after a decade of missed connections or random encounters, it might be time to get real."If a woman is interested in marriage and biological babies, it's time to really take the reins of your love life," says Boston-based dating coach Neely Steinberg, author of Skin in the Game.
If you're looking for marriage or biological babies, says Steinberg, your job is to recognize these zero-potential guys early and often.
"Don't spend years, or even months, with guys who are clearly commitment-phobic, wish-washy or emotionally unavailable," says Steinberg.
The less time you spend with a dead-end dude, the more room you'll have to pace the relationship with a guy who seems like a potential winner.
"You don't want to rush the process with him," says Steinberg. Make a date with yourself for a cup of coffee or glass of wine, grab a notebook, and take stock of your behaviors in your 20s.That means your best bet is to maximize the most highly-datable options in the least amount of time, says Steinberg.The best way to do this is to approach this part of your life with as much intention and effort as you would, say, your friendships or career."Doing so will help you create what you want to create in your life—instead of just passively waiting for him to find you."You've probably met your fair share of men who would qualify for your own personal What Was I Thinking? Maybe you took a risk on that guy with the emotional issues, or that supposedly-reformed player with a laundry list of ex-flames.Don't beat yourself over those mistakes, says Steinberg.Women who want love and family tend to start wondering how they will fit it all in, while still killin' it in their careers.