She says she's told me already and I wouldn't listen. They're calling her friends, her parents, her sister, anyone who might help them understand her and put in a good word to try and convince her to change her mind. Their world has been shatterred and they'll do anything to "fix it.""Why won't she talk to me?
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You close your mouth, turn your back, and take as many steps as possible without looking over your shoulder even once.
The less you give your ex here, the better off you'll be.
She says she doesn't want to hear it because I wouldn't do those things before when she asked me to. They're even showing up at her work or her parents' house to try and have a conversation with her.
They can't concentrate on their jobs or carry out day-to-day responsibilities. They're calling her and texting her multiple times a day.
She moves on with her life and does not return to the relationship. She tries to explain why a certain request matters so much to her.
He may respond defensively because he feels he's already pulling his weight in the relationship, working hard to earn money to support her and their kids, helping out, and doing nice things for her.
They don't know how you still feel toward them, and eventually, your ex won't know whether or not they can even get you back if they wanted to. Much of the strength your boyfriend or girlfriend displays during your breakup speech lies in them knowing THEY CAN STILL GET YOU BACK. Imagine how confused and uneasy your ex will already be when you walk away from them.
Take that away, and suddenly the breakup is as scary to them as it is to you. Your next step: Striding casually away from your breakup is a pretty big move. They were prepared for a fight - they were ready for you to argue in favor of keeping the relationship going, and they were expecting a whole list of reasons (from you) why the two of you should still be together. As if the relationship didn't mean that much to you in the first place.
Stick around too long and you'll surrender all power you may have once had in the relationship.
By needing your ex even after they've told you they don't need you, you're giving them all the control and destroying whatever respect they still had for you. You're keeping that control and creating an atmosphere where your boyfriend or girlfriend really doesn't know what you're thinking.
He tries to convince her that he is, or will be, different.