One of them is the amount of alcohol he is consuming and the speed in which he is doing it.
Look, there is nothing wrong with a few drinks on a first date however, when it gets to the point that he needs to get bombed in order to function, he’s likely not going to be a good match for you.
Same holds true if he shows up at your first date stoned. As a general rule of thumb, people in recovery programs, like a 12-step program (AA, CMA, NA…) are encouraged to stay away from the dating scene for 1-year.
This is not a hard and fast rule but is generally encouraged.
The reasons are plentiful but the primary one is that the guy needs to be focusing on his recovery.
You are getting ready to meet that handsome guy you met online or through a close friend for that all important first date.
Feeling excited and a little nervous, you look hard in the mirror and think to yourself: Seriously, going on a first date can be a bit of a challenge.
With that shared, if your first date makes it a point to say he “acts straight” and goes out of his way to identify as straight to others around him, you really need to carefully consider if this person is for you. This particular point is not to judge but instead, to act as a potential red flag for his agenda.
And hey, there is nothing wrong with hooking up – but aren’t you wanting something a little more? If however the guy you are going out on a date with is going on forever and a day about his life, his job, his car, his family, his dogs …his, his his ….
This is particularly true for gay men who are new to the dating scene or have been off the market for an extended period of time.
After consulting with a number of gay men who were formerly single and now long-term partnered ...
A long term relationship for a gay man can be subjective at best.