Submitted by marya (United States), Apr 1, 2013 at Lilia what an experience you had.Mine was more conventional as he was and I are American citizens and I am an American woman, yet it is sheer torture because he seems nice then goes into this crazy misogynisitic torture rage every few months that puts you down as venomous if you disagree.Emotionally a bit odd he would try but he had difficulty with verbal communication that was not superficial.
Eventually the women can't take the abuse, not physical just the verbal insults about venom that you put in relationship just because you disagree and they never say they are sorry. Even that nice Turkish man you may know is like this in his house..
It is subtle and it takes awhile but it is intolerable and they blame you for everything and never apologize for anything since in their minds they are perfect and the relationship would be great if you did not poison it. They can be fun and funny but when they settle down they don't like to talk they can interrupt but can't be interrupt, they can be grouchy but you can't..you are a btich.obviously you are not or you would have not lasted this long.
After some years he just wants all for himself and his and if something were to happen to me, he would be concerned but doesn't like to deal with things.
He claims we are one and that he only would marry once but I am in his will and my children are also and he would help us with anything but probably not true either.
He was too controlling something I never liked yet too detached which is an odd combination.
Anyone else find this to be true for an older gent?After a long time I finally realize it is cowardliness, fearfullnes and conflict avoidance and the fact that he can't have any lively discussion where he is not the expert where one might disagree with any opinion of his as an intelligent woman..In others words he can be such a jerk but only in private, in public he acts perfectly but privately he can be barely human material particularly if he decides to drink too much. He was a terrible father because he was incapable of dealing with anything or listening to what was really going on and not a very good husband to his wife who left him and now i realize he has been in this for himself all along.I think American men and probably sorry to stereotype you guys but in general dating or being in a long term serious relationship with a middle eastern man including Turks in general unless they are the exception and I am sure there are many with fathers that totally respected their wives and spoiled them and treated them well and did not make them wait on them and put them first and foremost atfter the courtship period because this is the thing, the courtship period is fantastic!After that, they can be happy in public with you to put on a show but sometimes you get the feeling they feel contempt that you are not grateful for what you can't figure out!If this is not the case and you have a good one that doesn't drink too much then at least sometimes then maybe you have a chance.